Set backs are inevitable, for me they happen more then most. Its so discouraging to get in a rhythm one you can be proud of at that. All to have it torn down once the monster returns. The illness I suffer with is currently unknown, but the attacks don’t go unnoticed. My face swells to twice its size, and my mouth becomes displaced. I have no control over my facial movements. The ones made for me are exasperated, and one side my mouth litterally moves up the side of my face. Ontop of this it hurts, it hurts so much I can’t breathe, I can’t think. All I can do is wait, wait for it to stop, and pray that it doesn’t return. However it will it always does.
Nine was my lucky number. Nine days of bliss with no pain, and nine days of exercise. I was on top of the world, I was on my way to being healthy nothing could stop me now. Only it could, it came in like a wrecking ball, and tore all the progress down. So after three days of jello, and going from my bed to my shower floor. Here I sit back at the bottom of the moutain. Bruised, and discouraged thinking deeply I should just let it win. Give up, and let what will be, be.
Then I remember all I need is a small step. A small step to get me going. So tomorrow I take that small step, and start all over again. Will I be knocked down to the bottom again? Probably. This time I’m chosing to worry about that later. This time I choose me.